Anyways, I just had to face the reality that I'm going to have to wear a wig to the interviews from now on. This upsets me and this is pathetic, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I guess growing up means losing parts of yourself that you LOVE as a sacrifice for things you need in your life. Right now I need so much more. I need peace of mind, security, and contentment. I have none of those things. I am scratching and clawing to get to different places in my life, just to be let down and disappointed. I feel so trapped. Feel like I am being STRONGLY forced not to be myself. That's bullshit!
I was so upset, but my hair is just like when I had to give up my septum piercing. To go through pain to get a piercing is something big. Then to have someone tell you that you can't wear it or it's not allowed is even bigger. I felt so small in a world that is so big. The world is so big that it controls you. Society controls its people in a way that you can't really have that much individuality. That hurts because if anyone knows me, they know that I am all for individuality. I felt as though, shit, if I have to give up all this shit just to get a job; I should have joined the Air Force. (pow!) Imagine that? Anyways, I'm going just keep going on the path that I am because I know that it will take me somewhere great. I just have to dress up in costume or disguise to go to interviews and shit.
