Update

It's been quite some time since I posted here. I am happy to know that I have accomplished several things that were on my goal list. Of course, with time goals and dreams change. I am looking forward to the future and hope that I will be able to accomplish everything that I list. 

I got a new job finally that is giving me the stability that I need in a way. I'm not rich by far but at least I am able to pay my bills. I can breathe a sigh of relief for that because there was a time recently that I wasn't able to pay my rent and didn't even know where I'd get the money from. 

Short Term Goals: 

• Lose that extra 20 lbs that I put on. 

• Lose an additional 20bs 

• Save up $1500 

• Find a part-time job 

• Look for cheap cars 

• Get my Driver's License

• Get Home internet. 

Long Term goals: 

• Get engaged. 

• Move into a nicer place. 

• Buy a car. 

• Buy a TV

I have been progressing through life. Just breezing by hoping that everything will turn out for the better and hoping that I do get to accomplish every dream on the list. 

Disappointed.

I swear I never wanted to be that "The white man is keeping us down" type of person. The events that have been occurring in my life lately have been proving that thought to be true. I have been trying to cross "Get another or 2nd job" off the list. I had a great interview with Marriott, they didn't hire me. I had  a great interview with one lady for The Grand Hyatt and she asked me to have another interview with another guy and I did that, still didn't get the job. Everybody is telling me it's because of my blonde hair. This frustrates me because if I were a white girl it wouldn't matter. Not only that it's not like I'm a BLACK ass girl, but i'm not, the color goes good with my skin. 

Anyways, I just had to face the reality that I'm going to have to wear a wig to the interviews from now on. This upsets me and this is pathetic, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I guess growing up means losing parts of yourself that you LOVE as a sacrifice for things you need in your life. Right now I need so much more. I need peace of mind, security, and contentment. I have none of those things. I am scratching and clawing to get to different places in my life, just to be let down and disappointed. I feel so trapped. Feel like I am being STRONGLY forced not to be myself. That's bullshit!

 I was so upset, but my hair is just like when I had to give up my septum piercing. To go through pain to get a piercing is something big. Then to have someone tell you that you can't wear it or it's not allowed is even bigger. I felt so small in a world that is so big. The world is so big that it controls you. Society controls its people in a way that you can't really have that much individuality. That hurts because if anyone knows me, they know that I am all for individuality. I felt as though, shit, if I have to give up all this shit just to get a job; I should have joined the Air Force. (pow!) Imagine that? Anyways, I'm going just keep going on the path that I am because I know that it will take me somewhere great. I just have to dress up in costume or disguise to go to interviews and shit. 

I am going to cross off "Jump Rope for 1 minute" off the list. I can also cross "Do 10 push-ups nonstop" off the list! I am so happy to have been able to start crossing things off my Goal List so fast. Now that I have crossed off two items, I must now work on crossing off the other items. I need to get those workout gloves which you can see that I've added to the list. 

I am so motivated now more than ever to accomplish my goals because I found a way to track them. Keep me focused. I can be excited about this blog and the Goal List without other people trying to steal my shine. That's why I won't promote this blog on FB and IG like I could. But I'll show the world what it's like being me and witness my transformation not only physically, but as a person as well.